Christmas memories

Okay, okay, I've been bad. I should have been on here ages ago. I'd say November was uneventful, so I didn't bother writing, but the truth was it was too busy that I just didn't have time to write. And of course whenever I did have time I couldn't think of anything to write. Now....well I'm making time.
What to write about? Well, Christmas of course!
I have to say this has been one of those years when all of those cliche's have actually occurred. Remember how Clark Griswold just wants "an old-fashioned family Christmas"? Well, it seems I'm kinda having that this year. I've been in the middle of moments and thinking to myself, "This is the kind of thing you see in movies.". It's been a good year so far. :)
First, we went to cut down our tree as we do every year. We go on a Tuesday because that's when Joe is off of work and it's just a lot less busy. Okay, it's usually empty. This year we headed out early because there was a chance that the temperature was going to rise and the beautiful snow was going to turn into rain. Well it didn't rain while we were out. Instead there were big flakes of snow falling, lovely silence, packing snow and the wonderful smell of Christmas trees everywhere. To quote Linus from, well, The Great Pumpkin.....there was "nothing but sincerity as far as the eye can see.". It was beautiful and perfect.
The second moment came after the kids' Christmas concert last week. Since we live so close to Abby and Stew's school (and parking is minimal) we decided to walk over to the concert. Once the concert was over it was about 8pm. It was a nice, clear night and it wasn't too cold. The kids starting singing Christmas carols and the next thing you know all four of us were singing "The Twelve Days of Christmas" while walking home in the dark. It was so cheesy it was nice.
Anyway, there have been many more moments like that so far this holiday season. I can't help but consider myself blessed to have such wonderful memories of my kids. How did I get so lucky?

I have always had a distinct memory of being read a specific book in grade one at Lord Roberts Public School. I remember sitting in the library and although I never knew the entire story I knew enough how it went. It was about a boy who went for a sleepover, but didn't want to bring his teddy bear because he was afraid his friend would laugh at him. I know there have been many versions of this specific story, but this one was the original.
Well, for umm 29 years now I have had that story in the back of my head. Here and there trying to search for it, but since I had no title or author I had no luck.
Today, I was at my kids' school library volunteering like I do and there sitting on top of a shelf was "Ira Sleeps Over" by Bernard Waber. The moment I saw it I knew that was the book!!! Obviously I took it out to read it to my kids.
The search is over!!!

Thoughts running through my head right now.....

*I really like the word "twitterpated" :)

*I should go to bed.

*My shoulders really hurt from plunging that toilet today!

*I think you're avoiding me.

*I need to lose weight.

*I miss adult conversation about nothing.

*I need to go shopping tomorrow.

*I wonder if I'm going to be able to get a good picture of the kiddies for the Christmas card this year.

*I just want to skip Halloween and go straight to Christmas.

*I miss school. I want to study something.

*I need to lose weight.

*I miss you. :(

The belt

When Stew was around 2 my friend Simon gave Stewart one of his old belts that he had when he was a kid. It's a nylon belt that had a big plastic buckle on it. He gave it to Stew because (at the time) Stewart was fascinated with plastic buckles of any kind.....car seat buckles, high chair buckles you name it.

Well, Stew would play with it here and there, but basically it lived in his closet. That is, until this week. For the last 5 nights Stewart has been wearing the belt to bed. Yup, to bed. He's also worn it around during the day, but he always has to make sure he has it on when he goes to bed. I have no idea why this is! Does it has some special super power that helps you sleep at night? Has it become a new comfort item for him? (Forget the stuffed Curious George...make sure the belt is on!) He put it on the night before he turned 5 and has worn it every night since!

Anyway, I'm perplexed. I have no idea how long this will go on, but from here on out I will be on "belt watch".

A conversation

Cole: "I really want to see Eagle Eye."

Joe: "Why?"

Cole: "Because it looks good."

Joe: "I don't think so."

Cole: "I heard it was really good."

Joe: "I don't think so."

Cole "It is! I really want to see it!"

Joe: "Why?"

Cole: "Okay, because Shia's all scruffy in it and I like scruffy."

Joe: "He's a kid."

Cole: "He is not."

Joe: "He's a kid!"

Cole: "He is not! He's 21."

Joe: "Cole, that's a kid."

Cole: "Argh!"

Not a good day

Today was a bad mom day. One of those days where, by the time it ends you feel completely broken. Anyone who's a mom knows what that's like. You start your day off well, but it feels like no matter what you do there is someone there to mess it up.
My two were at each other's throats today. Everything was a battle. Nothing was easy and by the end of it I think they were sent into time out or to their room more than they were out of it. Then the last straw happened. Stewart wrecked a pinata that I had been making for his birthday on the weekend. This occurred while I was making dinner and my darling husband was having a 3 hour nap. At that point I lost it. I finished making dinner, actually dished it out for everyone but me, then went downstairs while they ate. What did I do? I vacuumed the freakin basement!!! With my ipod on so I could drown out the world but still.
Once everyone started coming downstairs because their dinner was done, I went up....to find a bunch of dishes just sitting on the counter. So, I opened up the fridge and started downing a Strongbow. Yup, it was either that or scream.
I hate days like this.

A pause

I'm having one of those emotional moments right now. You know those ones where you literally feel like you are just going to burst with every and any type of emotion? Like your feelings are raw and exposed on your skin? No specific reason for this reaction. Just life.
I wonder if men ever feel like this? Probably not. If they did they'd understand the phase, "have a good cry".
My son came home with a cut out heart accidentally taped onto his shirt sleeve. He was wearing his heart on his sleeve. Maybe it was a sign?
Must go push the play button on life. There's dinner to make and two kids to taxi to gymnastics. Oh, to be a mom.

That funky feeling....

has gone yet again. Fingers crossed it's gone for good. Yeah right, but we can only hope!

My girls

I was watching the Sex and the City movie the other night and I was left with a couple of thoughts.
1. I love that I have the same kind of close girlfriends that I would do anything for.

2. I wish we got to see each other more often. :(

My heart

I have this theory about hearts. Your heart is like a large piece of land that is divided up into smaller pieces of real estate. There are certain people that come into your life and take ownership of those pieces of real estate. You're heart no longer belongs to you, but belongs to others. Some pieces you give away freely. Others are taken without your knowledge. And sometimes, there are pieces that you find you didn't even know were there to give.
I have many people that I love in my life and then there are those who own a piece of my heart. It can be both a wonderful and scary thing. I hope they're all good investors. :)

a time for change

I quit my job. Well, I quit one of my jobs. The one that took me out of my home. The part time one at M&M's. I am really excited about this. Why? Because even though there are days that I will be looking after 6 kids it still won't be as bad as some of the customers I have had at the store. I mean, you can put a kid in a time out for behaving badly, but you can't do that to a customer.
I am also looking forward to not working in a store during the Christmas season. To be able to watch Christmas specials, do silly crafts and have fun with the daycare kids is making me giddy with anticipation!
I am going to miss the people I work with. The socializing of it all. I have been lucky to make some very good friends while I worked there....and one who was a complete surprise. But thanks to email, facebook and and overall effort I know we will stay friends.
So, I have 5 shifts left and then I am done. I have achieved my goal which was to be gone before my mom (who is also my manager) retire. And now I start the new job of a full time daycare provider. I still know there will be tough days, but I'm up for it. And I also get 3 day weekends! Woo hoo!!

And now for the ugly...

My daughter has started gaining weight in a very short time. Just over this summer and it is quite noticeable in everyone who sees her. Now I'm not saying she's chubby, but basically she has gone from petite to now solid. This is a bit stressful for me and I'll tell you why.
For my entire life my mom has always said the same thing about me..."Nicole, you were really petite until senior kindergarten and then, all of a sudden, you just got bigger and bigger.". And what grade has Abby just started? SK. Is she going to follow in my footsteps? God, I hope not! This is one genetic trait I really didn't want to pass down.
I am just so afraid of all of this. I always hated the way my parents handled my weight issue. The bribes, the "do you really need that?"...it all drove me crazy and just made me dislike myself and my family even more.
I hate what this is doing to me. I hate the worry over all of it. I want to tell her that she'll be loved no matter what size she is and that she is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. That she is so bright and loving and full of energy.
I am just so scared. I know what the wrong way is to handle all of this, but I just don't know what the right way is. Argh!

Catching up

Okay, so I've kinda been slacking in my blog posts as of late. What can I say, it was a busy summer. And since we just got back from a trip to PEI and Quebec I have a lot of laundry I'm avoiding right now.
I find it funny that the moment you don't have a computer around in the time when you feel like writing. I mean, I think I pretty much thought of a blog entry every day while I was away. But since I was at a cottage in PEI....they pretty much stayed in my head.
So, what should I start with? The good, the bad or the ugly? Lets start with the good.......
I read three books while I was away! The first three of the Twilight series. Yes, like the rest of the world I am hooked....and sad to know I only have one book left. There is nothing better than finding a book you like and just wanting to read it all of the time. I spent my evenings at the cottage curled up on a couch reading. It was lovely....and relaxing. It was what I needed and it felt so good.

Now the bad, ugh! I lost my self confidence again. Okay, this one will need a bit of a back story. For my entire life (up until about two months ago) I had very little self confidence. I can put on a wonderful facade, but the truth is I feel like I have zero self worth. I always had this feeling that if I walked into a place everyone there was looking around at me thinking, "Why is she here?!". My 20's were complete crap for the simple reason that they were to go out and socialize and I was too damn afraid to do it. My poor housemates at university would try to get me to go out with them, but I often said no. I was always jealous that they were able to go out and have fun, but I just couldn't bring myself to go.
Okay, here's a soul bearing truth.....my husband was the first boy I ever dated, the first one that I really thought saw any interest in me.....and there has always been that small part of me that thought...if he ever left me there would be no one else in the world that would want me. Blech! I know, I know!
Anyway, I don't know what happened...whether it be that I was sick for so long and finally felt better, or it was that I went off to the big city on my own to watch a concert...anyway, I suddenly was filled with self confidence. I was more social than I've ever been in my entire life and loving it. I felt like I had something to offer the world. Suddenly all the worry and stress I had about all the little things in life was gone and I was feeling wonderful!
Here's an example of how good my frame of mind was....I was to meet a friend for a movie and he was 45 minutes late....and I didn't care! I mean, after 15 minutes I normally would have nearly been in tears from my brain working so fast to try and figure out what had happened. I can honestly tell you I was as cool as a cucumber! I just sat there, gave myself a time limit and enjoyed the silence of not having 6 kids talking to me at once. I even had a guy come up to me and say "Your getting stood up by your date too?" and I didn't care! I found the whole thing funny!
Sadly, that self confidence disappeared while I was on vacation. I really hated to see it go. I'm really not sure what made it disappear. Was it the sudden change of my parents not following us to Quebec city? Was it the strain of trying to translate french for four people? Or was it that damn full length mirror in the cottage in PEI? Whatever it was, it sucked it all away. Hopefully this is just a little funk and the new, confident me will arise again soon.
Oh, the ugly is going to have to wait until another post. Must go get the kiddies breakfast and send them off for their first day of SK!

Frustration

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


That's it. That's all I'm saying. I just needed to get that off of my chest.

"My balls!"

Stew was in our backyard practicing with his new golf set when Joe went by with the lawnmower (not running). Well, the lawnmower ran over a couple of the golf balls. Stew yelled out, "My balls!" and all I could think was "I bet that won't be the only time you'll make that remark in your lifetime.".
Sorry, I just had to share.
Oh, and the balls were fine.

What a night!!!

Since I have two posts on here about whether I was going to go to the George Michael concert, I only think it fits that I should now say how it was. To quote the man himself, it was "Amazing"!!!!!!!
First off, it was completely worth the price of admission and for all of those who wanted to go but were not willing to pay that price.....you missed out! It was like one giant dance party where everyone was there to have fun. I looked around the audience and you couldn't see anyone standing still...everyone was moving!
My seat was better than I thought it was. I was actually in shock at how good my seat was. Considering I had never been to the ACC before I really didn't know what to expect. It was a nice surprise. I sat down and went straight into a conversation with the people around me. It ended up the girl beside me was there by herself too. And the couple in front of us were so nice. Even though the show didn't start until 8:50 we were passing the time chatting.

For anyone wondering, here's the playlist for the night:
Air Canada Centre, 07/17/2008
SET LIST:
First Half
Waiting (Reprise)
Fast Love/I'm Your Man
Father Figure
Hard Day
Everything She Wants
One More Try
Easier Affair
Too Funky
Star People

Interval
John & Elvis video

Second Half
Faith
Spinning The Wheel
Feeling Good
Roxanne
Kissing A Fool
Amazing
Flawless
Outside
Different Corner

Careless Whisper
Fantasy
Freedom 90
Freedom Reprise

As you can see it was one great night and I loved every minute of it! I met some new friends and got some exercise from dancing my ass off! I stepped out of my box doing this by myself and it was worth it. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. It was one great birthday present! One I won't forget any time soon.
Now I must go make myself some tea in my new "Faith" mug.

A very weird dream

This is a dream that I had on Saturday night. Actually, it is the one I woke up from on Sunday morning and it took a bit to get out of my head. Let me tell you about the dream and then I'll tell you why.

This is how I remember my dream starting:

I was in a little Mexican variety store buying some type of plastic box that was about the size of my hand. I don't really remember anything about it only that it was then put in a grocery bag and before I left I turned to the old lady behind the counter and asked her if she had any smack I could buy. (Yup, you read it right.) She took me to the back of the store where I purchased a couple of tiny bags of white powder. I looked at it not really sure what to do with it. I put some in my mouth under my tongue and was about to walk out. Nothing was happening, so I turned around to the old lady and motioned to the top of her tongue meaning that was where I was supposed to put it. So, I did that with the second package. Then things started to happen. It was like everything started shaking and I was all jittery. It was like my brain couldn't stay still. It was like it was buzzing if that makes sense.
Next thing I know I am walking through the Civic parking lot going north. Then I started having this internal conversation of "Oh my god I just ingested drugs! I am now high! I can't go home to Joe and the kids like this. Do people know I am high?" Anyway, that is where I woke up...still a little freaked out.

Here's the crazy thing......I have never taken drugs in my entire life!! Hell, I haven't even had a drag of a cigarette. My friend Mary once asked me to hold her cigarette for her and I looked like I was holding the most foreign object in my hands. I don't even think the drug I asked for in my dream goes with what I received or how I ingested it. So, how did I dream about a drug trip?! It kinda freaked me out because it felt so real.

Anyway, I just had to share my crazy mind.

Women!

Last night Joe and I went to see "Wanted". First off.....amazing!!!! It totally satisfied the tomboy in me who can appreciate a good action movie. But this blog entry isn't really about that.
While we were waiting for the movie to start I was doing the thing I always do.....judging everyone who walks in on whether they will be a "talker" or not. This woman walked in who caught my eye. Right away she looked like someone who was in the wrong theatre. She was probably in her 60's, frumpy and just completely out of place among the rest of the theatre which consisted mostly of men in their early 20's and their dates. Then, just as the lights were going down, two more women sat down beside her who look pretty much just like her. I leaned over to Joe and said, "They do not know what they're coming to see. They are not going to like this movie.".
Okay, lets fast-forward to the end of the movie where I am walking out of the theatre with the massive crowd. I am just about to say to Joe, "I loved that! It was amazing! Did I laugh too loud at the exploding rat part?", when behind me I hear "Well, that was a complete waste of money!". I turned around to see where it was coming from and who was standing behind me? Yup, the three ladies out for a girl's night to see a movie.
I actually started to laugh at this point. This woman kept going on and on about the faults of the movie. I was so tempted to turn around and say to her:
"Lady, I knew from the moment you walked into the theatre that you weren't going to like this movie. It was an action movie. It was a graphic action movie. And if you couldn't have figured that out within the first five minutes it's your own fault that your money was wasted. You should have got up, went to the ticket booth and exchanged your tickets for "Sex and the City" which is where you belonged."
But I didn't say that. Instead, I just happily laughed away as I walked to my car. Still high from seeing a great movie.

"You look familiar to me"

I have heard the above quote at least once a week since I was in university. I don't know what happened in those years that made me look so "familiar". I've heard it so much that I don't even try to figure out if I actually know the person anymore. I just assume it's a mistaken identity and dismiss the claim even before it's been made.
And here's the funny thing....I am not always mistaken for the same person. I have been home, in Toronto and even Niagara Falls and been confused for someone else. And it is never the same person!
So, I know the theory about doppelgangers, but my question is can you have more than one? Or am I just so average looking that I look like many people? And have people who really do know me gone up to a stranger and thought she was me?
So many questions......

My passion

I am a fan of quotes....lyrical, movie, tv, just about anything written down or said I love. I love that someone can string words together and it can just inspire you. It can inspire you to laugh, to love, to cry....just to think.
So, considering my facebook page can no way contain all of the quotes I have admired and enjoyed over the years I thought I would start writing them down here. There is no rhyme or reason to any of this. When one pops in my head I am going to write it down and send it into cyberspace. Maybe when they are all put together they will make up me as a whole. Who knows.....

"He's an asshole. Anyone with a haircut like that, you know he's an asshole."
- Weird Science (movie)

"Can I tell you something personal?"
"I mean, we're in the shower. How much more personal can you get?"
- Surf's Up (movie)

"He's a dirty trashcan full of poop."
- Surf's Up (movie)

"Dave likes to wear dirty underwear."
- Alvin & the Chipmunks (movie)

"Fifty years from now, when you're looking back at your life, don't you want to be able to say you had the guts to get in the car?"
- Transformers (movie)

"I crashed my van into Jesus!"
- Saved (movie)

"Of course I'm home. I'm always home. I'm uncool."
- Almost Famous (movie)

"Here is a line that you won't understand
I'm half of the boy but twice the man"
- Who did you think I was (song)

"Here eyes were so blue, they looked like weather"
- It'll all work out (song)

"Like the ocean needs the moon to take the tides away
All we need’s a little time to chase the blues away
Sun is out and it feels like it’s always gonna stay
Let this last forever, turn tomorrow into yesterday"
- Into Yesterday (song)

The Pivot Questionnaire

If you watch "Inside the Actor's Studio" regularly you probably will agree the best part of the show is the Pivot questionnaire. (For anyone who hasn't seen the show it is a series of questions "made famous by Bernard Pivot".) And if you're anything like me you have thought of the answers you would give if you were ever asked by James Lipton.
Well, I'm never going to be asked by James Lipton, but I thought what's the point of a blog if you can't write down what you want. So, here are my answers to the Pivot Questionnaire...

1.What is your favourite word?
Love

2. What is your least favourite word?
"Do you really need that?" (I know it's a phrase not a word, but anyone who truly knows me will know why I hate it.)

3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually, emotionally?
Love in every way, shape and form it comes in.

4. What turns you off?
Inequality

5. What is your favourite curse word?
"He's a dirty trash can full of poop." I know it's not really a curse word, but I just love it!

6. What sound or noise do you love?
Okay, I don't know if I'll be able to describe this properly, but the sound of a finger sliding on a guitar string. Not just someone sitting there sliding their fingers up and down a guitar, but when it happens while someone is playing a guitar. Complete heaven!

7. What sound or noise do you hate?
Actually silence drives me bonkers more than anything else. Complete silence can drive me over the bend.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
I always wanted to work in the movie archives.

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Anything that involves me working alone in silence.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"Have you lost weight?"

I have a problem

Anyone who knows me knows how I feel about men and facial hair. I love it! I love it so much that part of my husbands wedding vow was that he would never shave his beard off. (Okay, I kid.)
I know I am part of a minority when it comes to the clean shaven vs scruff debate, but I didn't think anything of it....until tonight.
I just saw a commercial for the new Adam Sandler movie You Don't Mess with the Zohan and I thought he looked cute! Adam Sandler! The man who admits to having the most egg-shaped head around! How did a hair cut and a beard make me think he looks hot?!
This isn't the first time this had happened. I once saw a SNL retrospective and thought David Spade was cute!
Obviously, the problem is me. I have become so obsessed with facial hair that I now think any man with a bit of scruff on his face is yummy. There has got to be a 12 step program for this, right? Oh, I'm in trouble!

It's official......I'm old

I've always been a person who looked forward to birthdays. I never had a problem with them or the idea of growing older. My 30th birthday came and went and I felt no different, 31 was easy, 32...no problem, 33...a piece of cake. Now, in two days I am turning 34. I'm having a problem with that.

I think it has to do with a number of factors all fusing together right now.

First off I was sick for a whole month this May. That has resulted in me just feeling lazy and tired a lot.

Second, for the last three years there have always been students at my work and they were the ones I talked to. Now, they have all left and I miss them terribly. I miss that aspect of my personality that was brought out when my youngins were around. They made me smile. Since they have all left I have to act my age which is no fun.

Third, I am quite aware that as I enter my 34th year it is closer to mid-30's and eventually my 40's and as young as I might feel 40 is old...there's no other way of looking at it.

So, I am finally here. I am a full-fledged grown up.......and I hate it.

To whom it may concern

I miss you.

Making noise

Here is something that has always fascinated me.....how is it possible that boys are born with the ability to make the best sound effects for cars running, chases, guns shooting, swords (and light sabers) fighting, etc? You put a toy car in any female's hands and the sound will pretty much just be a vroom. Males, on the other hand, have the ability to make revving noises, skids...well, you name it! How?! As I am writing this I am listening to my son pretending his Boba Fett is shooting....something and the sound is just like a ray gun (or is it laser gun?) would be.
I pride myself at knowing enough about Superheros, Transformers, Lord of the Rings and Star Wars to have a pretty decent conversation with a group of men, but if they ever asked me to imitate the sound made when Optimus Prime transforms into an 18-wheeler I'd be screwed!

I did it

Section 119, row 25. Dinner plans are already made for before hand. I feel a little selfish and rebellious. Never done anything like this in my entire life. At 33 (almost 34) it's about time.

What should I do?

Okay, I have a bit of a problem. Not in a huge life problem like, "what is my purpose here on earth". Not even in a minute "where is the remote" kind of problem. Here's my problem......can I attend a concert by myself? That sounds really stupid of a question but right now that is really what is consuming my thoughts. How terrible am I?!

You see, I really want to see George Michael in concert. Like, really want to!! Why? I have no clue! Okay, I have to admit I have been a fan for the last 25 years and really didn't realize I was. Does that make sense? I remember first seeing "Wake me up before you go-go" on the Chum top 30. My brother got the Make it Big cassette as a birthday present (I got the Pointer Sisters) and I remember pretty much stealing it from him. And of course I remember the Faith album. I remember the whole thing. I remember how rebellious it was to listen to "I want your sex". Then when Listening without Prejudice came out I remember the big deal about all of the videos not including George Michael in it. And his last three albums well, I have bought the day they were released. All this and I didn't know I was a fan!

So, his most recent album "25" was released on Tuesday and I bought it via itunes. It came with 40 of his music videos. Included in these videos was one of George singing "I'm your man" at one of his recent European concert. Here's the thing....it looks damn fun! Like it would be 2 hours of dancing and singing and just good old fashioned pop music.

Here's my problem....no one will go with me. Many have said, "hey that might be fun" but clam up the moment they hear that the prices at the 100 levels at the ACC are $200. Even I admit the price is high, but here is how I am reasoning it out. My birthday is coming up soon. Instead of getting some bath stuff or something that will collect dust I was going to ask everyone for money. I would use that money to pay for the ticket. Then I would be getting one night of real fun out of my birthday. To me that just makes sense.

So, is it wrong if I just go by myself? I started thinking about any concerts I have gone to in the past and often I have ended up chatting with everyone around me. I remember in one recent concert talking to the girl sitting beside me (who did come alone) more than Joe! I think it's more the driving down there by myself that is putting me off. Am I crazy for even thinking of this?! I need feedback. I want to make a decision soon before I can't get tickets anymore.

Laundry - our little secret

Okay, here's something I have noticed. Laundry is a pretty easy task. You divide dirty clothes into piles, throw a pile in the machine and walk away. You come back later to throw another pile in the machine and walk away. You sit down and fold clothes while chatting on the phone or watching tv. All easy stuff. Laundry can take all day, but really it's just because you're waiting for a machine to finish.
Here's another thing I have noticed.......Men have no idea how easy laundry is! If you say you have spent the whole day doing laundry (which isn't a lie) they think you've been working away all day! Not really. I mean, I'm writing this blog while doing laundry. Oh, wait a second.....had to throw my last load in the wash. That took all of 1 minute!
I have done other things today like tidying up the house, so it will have the illusion of clean when my darling husband walks through the door tonight. And considering I have just spent the last two day sick in bed that is pretty damn good.
Well, I should end this. I now have laundry to fold and....crap...I just remembered I have to unload the dishwasher!

tied in knots

In about five days our family is going on a cruise. Whenever anyone asks me about it they always ask if I'm excited.....I will be, but not right now. Right now I am so stressed that I have a constant headache and have the ability to cry at the drop of a hat. Why? Because I am the person with the job of getting 4 people ready for this wonderful trip. I am packing for four people. I am trying to be prepared for any problems that might arise. I am getting the dog ready for staying at my mom's for the week. I am arranging doctor's appointments for two kiddies who have just now come down with a cold. I am doing all of this while still doing all the everyday things that come with life.
I'm tired. I'm not sleeping. I am stressed.
I will be fine once we all board the cruise ship and settle in. Until then.......well, wish me luck.

I was actually sitting in front of my computer for an hour trying to figure out what exactly to write about. Do I write about the stress of getting 4 people ready for vacation? Do I write about the weird dream I had the other night involving Seth Rogan? Just as I was contemplating what exactly to write it was bedtime for my twins and my lovely daughter gave me a brand new subject.
Abby pulled an all out temper tantrum at bedtime. I told her it was time for bed and she hit me! One thing I will not stand for in my home is a lack of respect for elders. So, off to bed she went kicking and screaming the whole way. I told her to go pee and brush her teeth only to have her running away from me. I don't think so!!!!
In the end she was sent to bed without a story and a good yelling. I have a feeling this story ends with a "to be continued......".

Valentine's Day

This will be my husband's and my 16th Valentine's day together. After 16 years I have to admit I am done with the holiday. First off, it is a holiday that only caters to women. I mean, how many pairs of red boxer shorts does a man need?! Last year I saw a girl making her boyfriend a build-a-bear. What a waste of money! Can you name me one guy who would like to get a fully outfitted teddy bear as a gift?

Second, I don't like half of the stuff that are normal gifts of Valentine's day.....I don't like jewellry, I don't like roses, and I hate lingerie!

I think if you are romantic on some of the other 365 days of the year you really don't need that one day to tell you to be romantic. Maybe I'm wrong.

So, I guess I'll take this opportunity (on February 13th) to say that I am happy to have had 16 wonderful Valentine's days with my Joseph......and if he ever shaves his beard off I'll drop him like a hot potato! tee, hee!

Winter

I have discovered something about myself lately.....I like winter! I don't ski or snowboard and I hate to skate, but I really do like winter. As bad as this winter has been I don't have this desire to get away from it. And it's not like I've been hiding away in my house from it. Every other day the kids and I are walking to school and the trip to school for my two is literally uphill both ways! But I've enjoyed it.
I think what makes a big difference is that I am not commuting in the snow. When I had to commute to Toronto every day for work winter used to stress me out. To see snow on the forcast used to do me in because I knew it meant waking up an hour to fight all of the traffic.
I know there are people that hate the cold weather. That's not me. I am very much warm blooded. If anything I can get sick of the summer. I'm not into sweating. hee, hee!
And some people might say I'm only saying this because I know I have a cruise coming up in a month's time, but I assure I am really not looking forward to putting on summer clothes while I still have my "February fat". (That's a quote from "Mystery, Alaska"). I can't wait to be with my family for a while week and I can't wait for the experience of a cruise, but I could have handled it any time of the year. It didn't have to be the winter.
So, now I'm wondering if I will be playing the same tune in April when we there will still be snow falls. We will just have to see!

Part II

So, we took the pictures we painted yesterday, cut them out, and made one big picture that is now displayed proudly in our kitchen. I thought I would share it with you. For anyone that knows their Beatles songs this is from "Being for the Benefit of Mr Kite".

They don't fall too far from the tree

I watched Across the Universe this week....and loved it!!! It is art in every sense of the word! Plus, it takes place around my favourite time in history (the 60's).

I have been playing the soundtrack over and over again ever since. I also have to admit I have watched the movie often as well. So much so that my kids now ask for specific songs to be played. Their favourite..."the one with the blue people, Mommy".

So, I thought I'd share some of the pictures they painted tonight before dinner. They are so my kids! I am such a wannabe hippy!

Nothing on tv

I think my husband is loving the writers strike. Normally I am the one who has complete control of the remote and only sometimes does Joe get to watch what he wants on the "big tv". Now that there is absolutely nothing on tv he has been watching hockey game after hockey game without even an arguement from me. At first I didn't mind so much. There were always old shows to catch up on and even some movies to watch, but now....I'm bored.
I am not a fan of reality tv. I'm not into people making complete asses out of themselves just for money or a little bit of fame. And is it just more or now that we are into season 6 or 7 of whatever reality show we seem to be scraping the barrel for talent. I guess I am just tired of the same old thing.
The news is saying that the end is sight. It can't be soon enough for me!

Feeding my right brain

Today I dropped the kids off at school, went and got my haircut, spent some time at a bookstore picking up some books for a future vacation, watched "Stardust", picked up the kids from school, made them leftover pizza for dinner, sent them off to a church program and then watched "3:10 to Yuma". Now I am on the computer listening to Sara Bareilles and writing a new post on my blog. Not a bad day if you ask me.
Sure, there's laundry to fold, bathrooms to clean, dishes to wash, etc, but today I did not care. Today I was selfish.
I needed to get lost in a movie....twice. I needed to get excited over the prospect of a new book. I needed to feed that right brain that just asks for something creative. To appreciate art in every form it comes in.
Tomorrow I'll wake up to an alarm. I'll be in full-on homemaker mode with a second title of daycare provider. I'll be playing referee to either twin 4 year olds or twin 2 year olds. I'll be folding laundry. I'll be in a constant tidy-up mode.
But today..........it was all about me.........and it felt damn good!

Kindergarten

My 4 year old twins are in their first year of school. They are in a school where they are with the same teacher for both JK and SK, but their teacher was on mat leave since last April and has just come back this January. So, they started September with a substitute teacher who was supposed to be with us until the Christmas break. Well, another teacher in the school (gr. 4) went on mat leave in November and this substitute teacher was offered to fill in for that mat leave starting asap. This meant we had a substitute-substitute teacher for the end of November and all of December. So, in the first 4 months of my kids' school career they have had 3 teachers!
I have a problem with this. I have a problem with the fact that I as a parent once again have to get to know yet another teacher. I can accept that this is their permanent teacher and she is trying to get the kids onto her schedule and her way of teacher, but, whether she likes it or not, this is my kids' THIRD teacher this year! They don't know her at all and neither do I.
I guess this rant all came about as I was quickly called over while picking the kids up from school on Wednesday to be told that Stewart (my son) was having some temper tantrums in school. Her definition was crying over not being picked. Now, this was a two-second conversation as I was trying to keep hold of my two kids as well as my two daycare kids (2 year old twins) at the time and I really didn't have time to talk. When I said that didn't seem like Stewart she said that Abby (my daughter) says he has done that before.
First off, why are you talking to a 4 year old about her brother's behavior?
Second, anyone who knows Stewart would be very surprised to hear that he had a temper tantrum. It's not in his nature. He is an emotional boy and I can totally see him crying over not being picked...that is something we are working on....but I consider temper tantrums to have some base in anger and that is not Stewart at all. He becomes sad. Stewart has cried the same way since he was born and that is complete and utter heartbreak. He is a loud crier and whether he is physically hurt or emotionally hurt he cries the same way.
So, I guess I am a little pissed off that in January I have to have a discussion with the teacher about my son's temperaments. This is a discussion I should have had...and I think I might have...back in October. Not now.
We'll see if I have more to write tomorrow after I get to chat with her.

sad

I am sad today. Heath Ledger has died at the young age of 28. And even more sad he has left behind a little 2 year old daughter.
According to my brother I'm really not supposed to be sad. "That's what their all like. They're nothing like you see on TV. They're all just a bunch of drug addicts." How he knows this I have no clue. I think it all comes down to being a cop and being hardened by death. He just doesn't care anymore.
Me, I'm the opposite. I'm the sensitive one who, somebody once said, "looks at the world through rose coloured glasses". That may be true. All I know is I didn't see this one coming. And I don't think anyone did, as you see the sadness and shock from everyone in the entertainment world reacting to it.
Tragic and sad is all I can say about this. He might not have cured cancer or won a Nobel prize, but the world lost a talented actor yesterday....and a little girl named Matilda lost her daddy.

first entry

Well, I guess everyone has a first entry and this is mine. You start a blog with a tonne of things to say, but where do you start? Do you give a background by saying where your life has been going? Or do you pretty much to start mid-sentence and do the explaining as you go along?
My usual conversation preference is to pretty much start mid-sentence, so I guess that is what I am going to do here.
First off, let me start by apologising for all spelling and grammatical errors. I may have majored in English in university and did a course on publishing, but editing was never my strong suit......but I can analyse the hell out of any piece of literature you throw my way!
I've started this mostly just to write down the inner monologue that seems to constantly be playing in my head? Am I the only one who has this? I mean, meditation is something that I just can't achieve. To stop the thoughts rushing through my head long enough to be in the moment seems impossible. There is always something to think about whether it be simple tasks of both a mother and wife or just pondering life. Seriously, how can I be expected to stay silent?
So, here I am writing things down in hopes that maybe the thoughts that keep running around my head like an intricate freeway system might slow down just a little....and maybe become more of a four lane highway.
From me to you this is a sincere "welcome".
Cole