To Andrew

You are not my older brother. You are my younger brother. So, I'd really appreciate it if you stop talking down to me. Just because you are a cop does not make the overall authority over life. I might not see the world the way you do, but I don't need to be educated on it. I like my "rose coloured glasses" and the view they give me.
I don't need to buy a new house. Yes, our house is small. Yes, sometimes it's cramped, but it's home and I like it.
I don't need a new job. I like what I do. I am proud of what I do. I might not protect lives, but I help raise them. People ask me to look after their most precious possessions and I do a damn good job at it! I feel at home, at peace in my job right now and that can only mean that I am doing what I should be.
No, we don't have a lot of money. We can't buy people fancy presents and go on luxurious vacations, but we know how to give our love and our time.
I believe in creativity, poetry, music, literature, and art. I believe in imagination and escapism and expression. And I will do my best to teach my children what it all means.
No, this might not be "the real world" but it is the world I choose to live in.
So, how about showing me a little bit of respect and stop talking to me like you're my father. I already have one of those and he's a damn good one. I really don't need another. That badge you wear does not make you an authority on everything. I have opinions on things and in some areas I might just know a lot more than you. So quit it.
All that said...I'm a chicken. I know I'll never tell you this because I know I can't win an argument with you. And you (as we all know) are always right. So, I'm gonna get my feelings out the only way I know how. This is my blog, my journal. In here I can say whatever I want. I might regret this later, but right now, well, I'm letting my feelings be heard.
Your Sister,
Cole
P.S. I'll always love you.

Be a good neighbour!

The people at the north end of my street just moved in in the spring. This is their first winter on our street. So far they are not good neighbours. They are the last ones to shovel their sidewalk and now they are not even removing the pile of snow at the end of the sidewalk where the snowplow went by. This pile of snow has been there for over a week. This is becoming a safety hazard for me and the kids I look after...why? Because every time we walk to and from school I have to try and get my kids over this large and wide pile of snow onto the road to then cross it. This is not safe.
On Friday while walking home with my kids (on the road I might add because it was just easier then getting them to scale the snow pile) I finally ran into someone who lived in the house. I asked them very kindly to remove this snow pile because of it being a safety hazard. The young woman was very nice, said she understood, apologized and said it would be done. I told her as long as it's done by Monday I'm fine. It's still not done.
Now, I have to be a bitch, call the city, get it removed and then they will send them a bill for it. Fuck! I have 5 kids I have to walk to school tomorrow! Why are people such lazy assholes?! We have seniors on our street!
I hate being a bitch!
To be continued......

You're only as old as you feel

I'm trying to figure out how to write this without coming across as pathetic. I know what I want to say, but I'm trying to figure out the words. I might as well just jump in and start swimming.....

I have a friend who is convinced that I will never grow up. (See, that comes across bad, but it's not!)
Okay, I'll try it from another angle.....

I have a really vast and detailed memory. As a result I remember all the way back to when I was just turning three. No, I don't think I remember from pictures...I have a very detailed memory of visiting my mom in the hospital after she had my brother. I remember the lobby, what my mom was wearing, the family that were there and the special lollipop I got. My husband has joked before that he could never win an argument with me because I'll not only repeat back to him what he has said, but when it was said, where we were and sometimes what we were wearing.
This memory has served me well in life. In high school I not only knew my class schedule, but that of my friends.... okay, and the boy I liked. :) And as far as movies go well, I'm the person you call when you see someone in something and you can't remember what else you saw them in. (Of course, I'm really not needed anymore with IMDB available to everyone.)
But here's where this memory has also served me well....I remember what it is like to be 5 or 13 or 18 or 23. And I use it depending on whom I'm with. With my kids I'm able to make fun out of little things. I know it's fun to just play...to pretend...to scream and yell for a while.
I also remember what it's like to be a teenager. For little things to mean a big deal. To not quite get the whole responsibility thing and wonder what everyone else's problem is. ;)
I am a defender of youth. I'm not talking the whole party scene and all that crap. Hell, I didn't do that the first time around. (And some of the stuff teenage girls do nowadays.....well, I'm just wondering if they were all born without a conscience.) But the enjoyment of life. The silliness of it all. And maybe that's why I'm reluctant to give it up. But also, just maybe, it has to do with the fact that my kids will be teenagers at one point and I never want them to think they can't talk to me.
So, since my teenage years revolved more around movies, music, and stars that is what I am still very much in touch with. I still like watching movies over and over again. And I still get fixated on one celebrity for a while which means I have to watch every movie he's ever been in. (Right now it's Vince Vaughn.) And I have one little tribute to my teenage years that I keep in my kitchen....my old bulletin board. The one that was plastered with pictures when I was younger is still a collage of images. Now it includes more friends and family, the things the kids are interested in (like Camp Rock and Indiana Jones), and the kids' school calender, but I still make my presence known.

So, maybe my friend is right...maybe I will never grow up. But I think I'm okay with that.

There, that's not too pathetic is it?