Saturday, January 3, 2009

You're only as old as you feel

I'm trying to figure out how to write this without coming across as pathetic. I know what I want to say, but I'm trying to figure out the words. I might as well just jump in and start swimming.....

I have a friend who is convinced that I will never grow up. (See, that comes across bad, but it's not!)
Okay, I'll try it from another angle.....

I have a really vast and detailed memory. As a result I remember all the way back to when I was just turning three. No, I don't think I remember from pictures...I have a very detailed memory of visiting my mom in the hospital after she had my brother. I remember the lobby, what my mom was wearing, the family that were there and the special lollipop I got. My husband has joked before that he could never win an argument with me because I'll not only repeat back to him what he has said, but when it was said, where we were and sometimes what we were wearing.
This memory has served me well in life. In high school I not only knew my class schedule, but that of my friends.... okay, and the boy I liked. :) And as far as movies go well, I'm the person you call when you see someone in something and you can't remember what else you saw them in. (Of course, I'm really not needed anymore with IMDB available to everyone.)
But here's where this memory has also served me well....I remember what it is like to be 5 or 13 or 18 or 23. And I use it depending on whom I'm with. With my kids I'm able to make fun out of little things. I know it's fun to just scream and yell for a while.
I also remember what it's like to be a teenager. For little things to mean a big deal. To not quite get the whole responsibility thing and wonder what everyone else's problem is. ;)
I am a defender of youth. I'm not talking the whole party scene and all that crap. Hell, I didn't do that the first time around. (And some of the stuff teenage girls do nowadays.....well, I'm just wondering if they were all born without a conscience.) But the enjoyment of life. The silliness of it all. And maybe that's why I'm reluctant to give it up. But also, just maybe, it has to do with the fact that my kids will be teenagers at one point and I never want them to think they can't talk to me.
So, since my teenage years revolved more around movies, music, and stars that is what I am still very much in touch with. I still like watching movies over and over again. And I still get fixated on one celebrity for a while which means I have to watch every movie he's ever been in. (Right now it's Vince Vaughn.) And I have one little tribute to my teenage years that I keep in my old bulletin board. The one that was plastered with pictures when I was younger is still a collage of images. Now it includes more friends and family, the things the kids are interested in (like Camp Rock and Indiana Jones), and the kids' school calender, but I still make my presence known.

So, maybe my friend is right...maybe I will never grow up. But I think I'm okay with that.

There, that's not too pathetic is it?

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